By Elizabeth Byxbee
Hearing loss is one of many invisible disabilities, which is what makes it so much harder to handle in social settings. Disabilities do not define a person, making it difficult to know whether to mention them when meeting someone new.
Walking into a new classroom at the start of the school year, I ask myself if I should introduce myself and mention my hearing loss right away so the conversation goes smoothly. In the past, when I chose that route, it usually created an instant awkwardness where the other person did not know what to say.
On the other hand, I can introduce myself without mentioning it, avoiding that initial barrier. But when I take that option, whether sitting in a noisy dining hall or following a group, I end up missing bits and pieces of the conversation and misunderstanding words, making it much harder to engage.
Neither method worked for meeting new people and building relationships. After many years, I found a middle ground. The key is to introduce myself as usual and let people get to know my personality first. If I miss something during the conversation, I simply let them know: “Hey, I have hearing loss, do you mind saying that again?”
From that moment forward, people make an effort to speak louder and more clearly without making a big deal out of it. If I miss something else as the conversation progresses, I just ask them to repeat it. They do not hesitate because they understand why, which saves me from having to continuously explain my hearing loss.
At first, this approach was intimidating because I constantly worried about what people would say and think. Eventually, I realized that people do not care about the things that make you different; hearing loss is just a part of me but not who I am.
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I experienced this firsthand on my club water polo team. For a long time, I never mentioned my hearing loss because it felt irrelevant during practices and games. That changed when my teammates started repeatedly asking why I did not pass them the ball or respond when they called my name in the pool.
Initially I would just say I wasn't paying attention, until I was exhausted from answering the same question. From that point on, whenever a teammate asked, I told them directly that I have a hearing loss and needed them to speak louder and clearer. For the rest of my time with that team, they never questioned me again and made a conscious effort to ensure I heard them.
Hearing loss is such a small part of who I am, and personality is what stands out, not a disability. It can easily feel isolating because it makes connecting with others harder if you let it. But once I let go of my fear of other people's opinions, I realized I could start building strong, meaningful relationships.
Hearing Health magazine staff writer Elizabeth Byxbee is a high school student in Connecticut.
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The key is to introduce myself as usual and let people get to know my personality first. If I miss something during the conversation, I simply let them know: “Hey, I have hearing loss, do you mind saying that again?”