It Goes Both Ways

By Kathi Mestayer

I’ve had a hearing loss for decades, and dealt with family members with hearing loss years before I started losing mine. I’m good at getting peoples’ attention, giving them the context of what I’m about to say, checking to see if they seem to be having a hard time hearing me (or others), and looking for their hearing aids.

And the insights and “aha moments” just keep piling up. I had one the other day that surprised me. It was both interesting and something I wasn’t fully aware of.

Here’s what happened:

In the dining room, with my husband Mac sitting at the table, and me standing at the end, picking up dishes. We’re having a “conversation,” or trying to. 

Mac looks my way, and slams a document on the table. 

Kathi: “Why are you mad at me?”  

Mac: “It’s hard to talk and not be heard.”

Wow. That makes perfect sense. I’m always thinking about how hard it is for me not to hear him, which happens pretty often. It’s just constant conversational static that we try to deal with as best we can. Not perfect, by a long shot.

But it’s hard for him, too. It must seem like I’m not paying attention, or not trying hard enough. He keeps having to repeat himself, or give up. And that’s probably the case more often than I realize. He’s trying to be heard, and it’s just not working. Frustrating.

Yet another reason to revise my way of seeing, and hearing, things. Thanks, Mac!


Hearing Health magazine staff writer Kathi Mestayer serves on advisory boards for the Virginia Department for the Deaf and Hard of Hearing and the Greater Richmond, Virginia, chapter of the Hearing Loss Association of America.


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