By Rohima Badri, Ph.D.

My dad, without a doubt, is the most challenging hearing aid patient I've ever had! And he jokingly says that it was his payback for all my childhood mischief.

This is the story of how my family used Aristotle’s three appeals—ethos, logos, and pathos—to encourage my dad to take action on his hearing loss—that is, to try hearing aids! To be honest, we had no idea that our method had its roots in the ancient form of persuasion at the time, but what’s important is that it worked.

Hearing loss affects and challenges everyone in the family, not just the person who has it. And one thing we quickly realized was that convincing your loved ones to seek help is a marathon that requires a lot of patience, resilience, and empathy.

Some of the early signs of hearing loss we noticed in Dad were asking us to speak up, turning up the TV volume, and saying "what?" a lot. Any subtle references to his hearing ability were frequently met with Dad firmly declaring that everything is fine and that the entire world has begun to mumble and speak in fashionably low voices.

Often, denial of hearing loss is the first and toughest barrier for the family to crack in the process of getting help for their loved ones. If they can accept they have a hearing loss and get a hearing test, that is half the battle won!

This is where Aristotle’s three appeals—ethos, logos, and pathos—helped us get our dad into an audiologist's office.

Ethos (appeal to someone’s ethical sense):

Establish your credibility by standing by your family member with a hearing loss and gaining their trust. Even though I have a doctorate in hearing sciences and training and experience as an audiologist, I still had to work to earn my dad's trust that I would be empathetic, supportive, dependable, and honest throughout the process.

Our family wanted our dad to take action on his hearing loss, but it was important for him to know that when we suggested hearing tests and, eventually, hearing aids, we were keeping his interests, challenges, and needs in mind. As a result, even before we began educating him about hearing loss, we first listened to his stories and challenges, empathized with him, and understood his reluctance without passing judgment.

Logos (appeal to their logical senses):

Establish your knowledge on the subject and use logical reason and sound ideas to educate your family member with a hearing loss. I researched studies and curated articles that would resonate with him. I presented statistics, expert opinions, and testimonials, as well as video clips, illustrating how untreated hearing loss affects overall quality of life.

Also, I highlighted the far-reaching effects of untreated hearing loss—isolation, depression, and a decline in cognitive abilities—and the importance of timely intervention. Most importantly, we made sure not to exaggerate or overwhelm but instead let the facts speak for themselves. We gave him time and space to understand and process the information.

Pathos (appeal to their emotional sense):

Pathos, which means emotion in Latin, is the quickest and most powerful appeal you can make to your loved ones. Connect with your loved ones' emotions without jeopardizing the trust and credibility you've built. In other words, we needed to convey the facts to my dad in a way that resonated with him without alarming him as well. Remember, he needed to say yes for himself, not for us, so he wouldn't become resentful of the entire process.

We explained the risks of missing important information—sirens, fire alarms, or a cry for help from Mom. We discussed how his hearing loss affected not only him but his entire family. In a caring and non-accusatory manner, we pointed out how his enjoyable conversations and contributions to family time were dwindling, as well as how his tendency to be loud about everything made family gatherings and conversations challenging. He was surprised to learn how much his hearing loss had affected his family members.

Last but not least, we explained how his grandchildren were unable to carry on conversations with him and how they were missing out on opportunities to get to know their fun grandpa and build a beautiful relationship. (I believe this one really hit home.)

Taking the Next Steps

“Bah, what’s there to lose?” my dad said loudly a few days later. “Let’s get started on that hearing test you’ve been talking about!” he said in his usual semi-gruff voice. But something changed when he was left standing with a piece of paper that read, “Bilateral mild to severe steeply sloping high-frequency sensorineural hearing loss.” He now had tangible proof that not all is well with his hearing. That, I believe, helped to put things in perspective. Now he was the one who had a lot of questions: “What does it mean? Can it be corrected? Do I have to wear hearing aids now?”

We told him to take a deep breath and that he didn’t have to make any decisions just yet, at least not until the next step, the hearing aid evaluation. I explained to him that the hearing aid evaluation allows him to experience what it’s like to wear a hearing aid, ask questions, and discuss the best course of action.

At the aid evaluation, my dad purchased a pair the same day! We were overjoyed as a family. However, buying hearing aids is one thing, making a habit of wearing them consistently is quite another. This is another adventure worthy of its own chapter.

My dad now recalls how patient, empathic, and honest his family was throughout the process, even though we’ve been waiting for him to say yes to hearing aids from day one. So, if you are wondering about how to encourage your loved ones to take action on their hearing loss, take a cue from Aristotle and appeal to their ethical, logical, and emotional senses with honesty, empathy, and patience. Don’t just convince; connect and converse as well.

Rohima Badri, Ph.D., lives in New Jersey. She is a hearing healthcare adviser for HHF’s Keep Listening prevention campaign. For more, see hhf.org/keeplistening. 

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