By Sonya Daniel
Plainly and simply, being a parent is challenging. Being a parent with hearing loss is really no different than being any other parent. My three sons—Dawson, 21, Dallas, 17, and Drew, 15—don’t know anything else.
I was diagnosed in my late 20s, and my boys have lived their entire lives with a mother who hears differently than them. There’s never been a big conversation or explanation, and they’ve never had to adapt to anything new. It is what it is. We’ve had conversations about the genetic risk. My mother, her sisters, my grandmother, and my great aunts all have hearing loss. So my sons are tested once a year to make sure I didn’t pass it on. Day to day, though, it’s our reality, and my boys don’t know an alternative.
Ironically, I think having hearing loss has made me a better listener for my kids, none of whom have hearing loss or other disabilities. I have to pay closer attention and be more aware of their faces and mannerisms to understand them fully.
Sonya poses with her oldest son, Dawson, who plays in a band that primarily performs for military veterans.
My sons know that some places are not hearing loss friendly and I appreciate them looking out for me. In public spaces, they can recognize when I can’t hear. They are usually quick to repeat speech back and make sure I understand. They’ve never made me feel like a burden or been aggravated at having to say the same things five or more times. They deal with it, and we move on. My boys just know. They look at mom to talk, use ASL, or send a text. It’s just a part of living with me as their mother.
Challenges arise when my boys need to get my attention. Most children can yell from across a room or outside to mom and dad. That doesn’t really work for my family. But in an age when nearly all teenagers have mobile phones and texting, I’m on a pretty even playing field with most parents.
Another difficulty is that my sons love music and it's a huge part of our lives as a family. All three are musicians. Dawson plays in a band that primarily performs shows for military veterans; Dallas participates in his school band and dance team; Drew sings and plays drums. The pride I feel from watching them is immeasurable, but not being able to fully hear what they are doing isn’t easy for me.
Of course, I’m hyper vigilant about their hearing protection. The boys have been fitted for custom musician ear plugs that they wear—that they had better wear!—during practice and at performances. As a musician myself, I understand the heartbreak one experiences not being able to completely enjoy one’s passion. I never want that for them. Hearing cannot be restored...yet. I talk to them about the importance of protecting it on a regular basis.
Over the years my kids have had several classmates with varying degrees of disabilities. My boys have no fear or hesitation with people who have a disability. I think my hearing loss makes them more aware of and more empathetic toward people with disabilities and how they’re affected in their everyday lives.
I am a parent with hearing loss, but hearing loss does not define my role as a parent. Like any other parent, I’m proud of my children’s accomplishments. It has just been an absolute joy to witness them do what they love. Watching them fall in love with music has been such a privilege. To know that I had a hand in nurturing that love with my own kids—even with hearing loss? That will forever be my greatest achievement. Every single day, I’m proud that the universe picked me to be their mom.
Sonya Daniel is a musician/teacher, writer, and voiceover artist who has previously written about her own experience with hearing loss: “Hearing Loss Lives with Me.”
