By Emily Jones
I was a high school senior when I got the news that my moderate to severe, bilateral, congenital hearing loss had just got worse (genetic, 60-85 dB loss in both ears). “Discrimination dropped from 82% to 15% in her left ear and 72% to 12% in the right ear...” the audiologist reported, confirming my sudden, significant drop in hearing. Though I could hear the difference, I couldn’t believe it. The words stung more than I could have ever imagined. I left the doctor’s office with a red, swollen, and wet face. I felt hopeless throughout the day and the coming week. I felt like I was losing touch with reality, physically, mentally, and emotionally.
Emily’s hearing loss worsened significantly when she was a senior in high school and a competitive track runner.
Several other hearing experts concluded that my rigorous track running schedule had caused my inner ear capillaries to burst, thereby stunting the growth of my inner hair ear cells and hearing. At the time, I was undefeated in the 800m race and set to be the state high school champion in the 800m run. In order to repair the inner ear cell damage, I was told that I could take oral steroids to regenerate the inner ear cells and/or stop running altogether—preferably both. I opted for the steroids but continued running to solidify my collegiate running scholarship opportunities.
And so my journey to recovery began. It felt like everyone knew about my sudden drop in hearing because the school had already been buzzing with my unprecedented running success that season. The widespread news of my sudden “Achilles heel” made matters worse.
Here are five things that my friends, family, coaches, and teammates did for me that helped me cope with the disappointing diagnosis. I recommend these practices to anyone who knows someone newly dealing with suddenly reduced hearing loss:
1. Get my attention before talking.
Due to my sudden drop in hearing, I became extremely sensitive about saying “What?” and asking people to repeat themselves. I knew I already did it a lot but this drop in hearing just made it worse. Simply anticipating that I would have to ask a person to repeat themselves would trigger thoughts of doubt and despair. However, if people got my attention before they talked to me, we were able to avoid all of the discomfort and confusion. You can get a hard-of-hearing person’s attention before talking visually, or by calling their name. Getting my attention first lets me know that you care to ensure that I hear what you say without forcing me to dwell on the difficulties that hearing loss creates for me.
2. Refrain from saying “Nevermind.”
This phrase drives me crazy and hurt me even more during the sensitive time of diminished hearing. “Nevermind” means “Oh, you couldn’t hear me, but it is not important anymore.” But I know it was important three seconds ago. How could it not be important now? “Nevermind” can leave us hard-of-hearing people feeling left out, while simply exercising patience and repeating yourself implies you want us to feel included.
3. Encourage meditation.
This sudden drop in hearing turned my world upside down. I thought running and winning were “life” until I realized how I had taken my hearing for granted. Through prayer, religious fasting (meditation, if you will), and introspection, I came to realize there was more to life than competitive running. Meditation helped me reconcile my feelings; I was able to understand and control them. My family members and friends helped as they encouraged me to remember what I valued most and hope for the best. This resulted in a faith that ultimately healed me mentally and prepared me to emotionally handle whatever my hearing loss turned out to be. At the time I did not know whether the loss would be temporary or permanent but I was prepared for either diagnosis.
4. Stay in touch.
Hearing loss is an invisible disability that can be more isolating than most can fathom. Hearing fatigue is real and sometimes it is easier for a person with hearing loss to tune out. However, we humans are social creatures and connections are important to our wellbeing. As I was struggling through the time of losing my hearing, positive communications, and words of affirmation from family members and friends meant the world to me. By reaching out to your hard-of-hearing loved one via video chat, phone calls, and texts for meaningful conversation, you can soothe distress and feelings of loneliness for the individual.
5. Talk about feelings.
We’ve all got them! News of a significant, sudden hearing loss is hard to bear. As a loved one, validation is incredibly powerful. Chat with your loved one about their hearing loss, and about how and why the news is hard to receive. It is easy to be optimistic and say “At least…” but that doesn’t acknowledge the issue at hand. Healing can’t happen without internal and external recognition of the problem in the first place. As you listen and validate healing, it won’t heal the ear physically but it will empower your loved one mentally and emotionally.
Ultimately, the hit to my hearing harmed my ability to mentally push myself past the limits in my running. I didn’t finish my track season as strongly as predicted. However, loved ones who cared enough to get my attention before talking, refrained from saying “nevermind”, encouraged meditation, stayed in touch, and talked about feelings with me ultimately helped me realize that running isn’t everything and there’s much more to life.
I learned to treasure my hearing through the experience; I rode a roller coaster of physical highs and physical lows, but ended up becoming emotionally and mentally stronger. Thanks to the steroids and the support of supportive family members and friends, my hearing returned back to normal for me (60-85 dB loss, 82-72% discrimination in both ears). I’m happy to say running is still a part of my life. I couldn’t have done it without the support of my loved ones.
Emily Jones is a digital marketer who increases awareness for the D/deaf and hard of hearing community through her Youtube channel. She is most well-known for her COVID-19 transparent mask video. Headshot photo credit: Kristin Jones, Any Angle Photography.
