By Dalia Florea Williams

I formally learned of my mild to moderately-severe bilateral sensorineural hearing loss at age 49. The ear, nose, and throat (ENT) doctor’s verdict was unexpected. Almost 13 years later, I wear hearing aids vigilantly, but there’s still so much that I miss about having typical hearing.

Like I said, being diagnosed with a significant hearing loss was a surprise to me. On a few prior occasions, I had experienced ear wax build-up that made hearing difficult. I was almost certain this was why I wasn’t able to hear my co-workers well and that the volume on my headset at work was unusually high. This time, earwax was not the culprit. 

Beyond surprise, I felt fear. The ENT told me I’d need to complete hearing tests every six months to monitor the progression. He also expressed concern due to my young age. I was evaluated for autoimmune disease and hereditary factors and underwent an MRI. All of my results turned up normal. This was confusing, and I missed having clarity about my health.

Not one of my friends, family members, or colleagues had a hearing loss at the time of my diagnosis and the same remains true today. But as a registered nurse, I did have some knowledge of hearing loss. My training consisted of studying anatomy and physiology, which included the anatomy of the ear and the various causes of hearing loss. However, experiencing it firsthand gave me an accelerated course in this common health condition.

The moment I got my diagnosis, my ENT doctor recommended hearing aids. I’ve worn them since. My hearing is better with hearing aids, but challenges persist. 

For example, I continue to have difficulty with phone calls unless I’m using my iPhone, which connects to my hearing aids via Bluetooth. I cannot hear using a regular phone or a cell phone without that connection. I miss the ease of phone conversations. 

I miss the ease of in-person group conversations, too. Even with wearing hearing aids, it’s sometimes hard to keep up with a group conversation. I miss feeling included all of the time.

With hearing loss, I sometimes struggle to identify where a sound comes from. For example, if there is some sort of beeping sound inside the house, it is difficult to know its source. This can be frustrating and scary. On one occasion I was actually unable to identify a sound in my home as a fire alarm until my husband pointed it out. Likewise, if I’m driving and there’s an emergency vehicle with a siren blaring, it’s difficult to know the direction from which the sound is coming. I miss feeling secure.

At the top of my list of things I miss is the ability to hear when I’m in a busy place like an airport. I miss not having to feel anxious that I’m going to miss a flight because I can’t hear clearly what is being said over the public announcement system.

I’m grateful to have my hearing aids. I know that without them, my circumstances could be so much worse. But there’s still so much that I miss. Only now do I realize how much I had taken for granted.

Dalia Florea Williams lives in New York.

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