A Musician Learns From Tinnitus Across the Generations
By Marc Vetere
Marc Vetere with his mom, who nurtured his musical career from when he was a young child.
To put it mildly, music is my life. It has been, as far back as I can remember. When my wide-eyed 10-year-old self begged my parents for a guitar for my birthday, they obliged, without a clue of what they'd be in for over the coming years. With all of three guitar lessons under my belt, I was off to the races to become the next [insert your favorite legendary guitarist's name here].
The internet was quite young in those days and wasn't nearly the educational resource for the self-taught musician that it is now, and it would be more than a decade before I’d find myself back in formal musical training. The nonsensical noise that would emanate from my bedroom over the next few years would be enough to drive anyone mad, but my lovely and endlessly supportive mother never wavered from her "it's no bother" stance on my practicing. She even helped me to acquire new equipment as my musical career began to grow—no small feat for a newly widowed mother of three with two kids in college and another that decided to start making records at the age of 16.
Patient? Yes. Supportive? Yes—and also losing her hearing to tinnitus. I had seen my mother struggle when trying to communicate with her mother, who also suffered from (more severe) tinnitus, but I suppose in my youthful ignorance, I assumed it was "just an age thing.” That was until I got a bit of a rude awakening in my mid-20s. My mother's hearing was growing worse, and starting to approach the stage where she needed people to repeat themselves.
It was only a small frustration for us at the time, but little did we know that it was already quite frustrating for her. Sadder and more frustrating still was seeing my grandmother at family gatherings sitting silently outside of the action because it had become too exhausting to try and keep up with the conversations. This was something I'd later learn my mother was also dealing with far too often.
Marc is fundraising for Hearing Health Foundation! Sales of his Halloween-themed album support HHF. Buy the album “Exile in Creeptown” on Bandcamp or his website It Ends With Rockets.
By then I was in a touring rock band and had started recording and mixing records for my band and other local indie artists. Mixing a record is much like piecing together a jigsaw puzzle, with the mixing engineer being the one carving the pieces so they fit together. "Carving” out these frequencies with my ears ringing from nightly concerts was a challenge to say the least, but also provided me deep insight into what music must have sounded like to my mother. It was disjointed, unbalanced, and didn't properly evoke emotion in any relatable way.
The realization that this was like what my mother had to deal with every time I played a new song for her was heartbreaking. This was the lady that was rocking out to Meat Loaf and Collective Soul with me throughout my childhood, and who would sing “It’s a beautiful morning” every morning while I rolled my reluctant teenage self out of bed and dragged myself off to school. Now it was a chore to share a new musical influence with her or to play her one of my new songs, and I finally understood why.
Immediately, I started living in earplugs, wearing them at every show and festival. I started mixing and listening to records at healthy volume levels, and have come to appreciate quiet. One might even say I’ve learned to “enjoy the silence.”
Musical dad jokes aside, I've been able to continue mixing records and podcasts, and have even found time to release some new music each of the past few years (all of which was recorded at sub-70-decibel levels, of course). I know this is because I take great care to preserve my hearing health. That small taste of hearing damage and helping family members deal with tinnitus is not something I’m likely to soon forget.
Sadly, by the time both my music and mixing made it to a suitable caliber, my mother's tinnitus had progressed to the point that she's no longer able to truly enjoy the music she so patiently supported for so many years. My experience in mixing audio has been incredibly valuable in helping her tune her hearing aids to get the best experience possible, and she still listens to every record I release. Knowing how much work that takes for her, it might just be her greatest show of support yet!
Marc Vetere is the owner/operator of Piper Gold Studios in Irvine, California. His one-man band is called It Ends With Rockets. His newest release is a Halloween-themed album called “Exile in Creeptown.” The general release is October 18, 2022.
A special edition to support HHF goes on sale October 1 on Bandcamp and his website It Ends With Rockets, where you can hear his music. You can also find him on Twitter at @ItRockets and Instagram @ItEndsWithRockets. HHF sincerely thanks Marc for his support and interest in our Keep Listening prevention campaign.